First Journey at this summer - Turku/Finland

I spend three days in Turku -the old capital city of Finland- beutiful and nice university city in southwest corner of finland. Archipelago landscape, modern city life and old architecture with many of wood buildings -I makes my mind calm. I like the trip even it was connecting work and I was definately one of the youngest of uss...mid age was about 30 year more than I have...and also the most common sex was another than my. It's always the same in my business. But could dance a lot! There was just a few dancing lady and several and several men who want take to dance uss...
We spend night in Forum marinum and before that we had few hour time to explore eachother and our beutiful get-to-gether ship Suomen Joutsen. We also visited in area of famous jailhouse Kakolanmäki in Turku (only by bus, didn't see any prisoner) and Conferes centre Alvarium which is designed by Alvar Aalto. After the Suomen joutsen the second impressive target for me was Turun VPK-talo (the old fire brigade house) where we had jubilee dinner on friday night.

Problem is; Men

I'm afraid it's impossible for me ever understard what happends in men brains. Ok, yaeh, true, it's impossible to understand what happends in anyones brains, even our own -but anyway I'm always so out when I try to communicate with another gender. Perhaps the problem isn't those men but my capability to interpret them. However it's problem when I try to live in relationship. And maybe thats why I'm still single. Can I understand anyone else before I know myself better? And how long I have to wait for that learning and knowing myself? Why I can communicate so well with many nice, fun and intelligent men who I'm not interest sexually? Is that impossible to get in same package -sexuality and communication skills?

Sziget -festival, soon those are!

I'm exciting....'couse of Sziget and more 'couse I get friend with me so I don't have to sleep with anyone stranger. It's so nice to go for travel with many unknown person -and that way get new contact and new friends- but board with some incognito...no thanks if there is choise of better -and there is; Taru! My dear friend Taru was so excited also when I told about festival trip and on next day she had booked a plase for her too...Jii-haa! From this it begin! The waiting - the summer - the festival and all! Budapest -here we come! =D

I'll have some other trip before august and sziget and of course I wait those also...But not as much as budapest. Music, dance, friends and more than anything...the city and it's architectur, green parks, many shops and sweet old metro-line...Jól Nyár! Betüzni hamar!

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now I'm even more ablaze! -we get 3rd friend -Anni- with us so there will be SO FUN! =)

BUSINESS
Let's get down to business
I don't got no time to play around - what is this?
(Eminem)

LIFE
Yeah! What is this? -life- Why it's so troublefull?
Why I make it so messfull for myself?

WORK
If ya ain't got nothing to do -so work (say's Bob Marley)
-and taht's what I do -I consentrate to my work
I work in the mid-day sun,
I work till the evening come!
-that's how I can forget all those trouble-thoughts which spites me.

ANGST
I am a full-scale living catastrophe
It all seems so clinical insecure
My worst trick just take it and beg for more
I don't live life looking for sympathy
I'll come alive just give me some empathy
(Halo)

I JUST DON'T WANT TO BE ALONE IN A CRUEL WORLD!

middle of nowhere

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I am totally Lost in my needs and wishies wiht my confused mind, whitout hope to come helped out of here.. sad but true fact is that life is cruel and only in our own hands. I have to find my own reasons to live. No one can give those for me...
---
Still not alone.
Have to take care of others feelings.
Can't be too selfish.
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Crazy World

Love and Happiness
-feelings which we pine and dread

War and Hatred
-feelings which make us stronger but miserable

Drearyness and Apathy
-we are pleased 'couse things are not as bad they could